the old lady who swallowed a fly…

September 20th, 2007

That was me two nights ago! Well, not the old part, but I was on a call and saw this tiny little fly fluttering around and a few minutes later I took a deep breath and BAM, it flew straight down my throat. I coughed one time hard and then muted my phone and ran for a drink of water. After the call was over, I told the guy I’d been talking to why I coughed and we both had a good laugh about it. EW though! Way to add some protein to my diet, huh?

I was supposed to go to a concert tonight but I broke up with the boy for the nine millionth time so I sold the tickets. It’s good though, the money will come in handy for the trip! It’s coming up so fast, it’s kinda insane. Less than two weeks from now and I’ll be in Europe! We’ve booked a private room at a hostel in London for the first night and will be booking a night at a castle in Paris before we go but otherwise we’re just going to take things as they come. Hopefully talking to some locals and other travelers will give us a better idea of where we should be staying and what kinds of bargains we can get. If not, we’ll just stay in hostels most of the time.

It’s been pretty slow on the phones for a few days. It seems like it’s that way for everyone though from talking to some other girls. That’s weird because usually right after school starts, it picks up again after being slow during the summer. I actually had a pretty busy summer though, considering all the time I took off. Who knows. It’s one of those unpredictable things, I guess.

Now that I don’t have a steady male sex partner though, I’ll definitely be masturbating a LOT more. Maybe you should call and see if you can inspire me to do it with YOU?

oh my

March 22nd, 2007

I’m watching American Idol from this week finally and oh my. Blake was singing “Time of the Season” and there’s a section where he says, “So what’s your name? Who’s your Daddy? Is he rich like me?” I swear that my nipples got hard, he said that in such a sexy way.

I know who I’ll be thinking of when I play with my pussy tonight.

woohoo, so exciting!

December 13th, 2006

I’ve had a GREAT day. I got up, did some gift wrapping and got some packages ready to go that I needed to mail out. I actually managed to drag my ass to the postal place and got them in the mail! WOOHOO for me!

I came back and just felt really horny all of the sudden, so I pulled out my trusty little vibrator (the one that DJ got me), parked my butt in front of the computer, put the vibe on my clit and started watching porn. I’d been watching and teasing myself for about 15 minutes when someone IM’d me and asked how I was doing. Of course, I said I was horny and had been watching porn and he jumped right on it and called!

Wow. I don’t think I’ve fucked myself that hard in MONTHS. I came twice right in a row and ended up having to change the sheets. It was intense. Of course, I used my glass dildo/vibe combo that gets me off so hard I can barely even stay conscious, but it was even more intense than usual. NICE.

Then I signed on to take other calls and stayed on until around 7:30, when I’d promised a friend I’d call him to talk about some stuff. I’d been talking to him for about half an hour when another call beeped through. A call I’d been waiting for for over a week!

Let me give you the back story…there’s a local theater troupe here in Van that’s putting on “White Christmas” this month. Of course, this is one of my favorite movies of all time and DEFINITELY my favorite Christmas movie. However, by the time I learned about it, all of the tickets were gone. I was devastated.

Then one day while browsing around Craig’s List (after having looked for tickets on sale there in vain), I saw a personal ad for a guy wanting a date to the show. I figured that he’d never want to take me since I don’t live in the area and am not really a potential for “romance” (since I have a girlfriend already), but I wrote him an email anyway and told him how much I love the movie, how much I love going to musicals and how I’d really appreciate it if he’d consider taking me.

He responded that he’d had a lot of women respond to his ad and that he wanted to get to know us all better and that I should cal him sometime so we could talk. I tried to call and he never picked up. A few days went by and he emailed me, saying that he had a date on Tuesday (today) and that if she was a connection, he’d take her since she lived locally and he was looking for someone to date. He said if it didn’t go well, he’d give me a call and chat with me and see where things went.

So tonight while talking to my friend, the call beeped through and I saw on the caller ID that it was him! I WAS SO EXCITED! I’d written to him that I hoped his date was heinous and she chewed with her mouth open or something! lol I guess she wasn’t THAT bad, but he said he didn’t think there was a connection there…we started talking and were getting along really well. We have a lot in common and stuff…so he asked me to go!!!!!!!! WOOFUCKINGHOO!!!

Now what I left out is that by some miracle, I actually contacted someone who had two tickets available and I had arranged to buy them from her the day of the show. I was going to take my mom with me and just have a night with her. Well, now that I get to go with this guy, I can give those two tickets to my parents for Christmas and everyone’s happy!

It really couldn’t have worked out better and I’m SO excited. I love musicals, love live theater and I can’t even imagine a better one at a better time of year to actually get to go to. So I won’t be around Thursday night, sorry guys. Remember though that Erin will be here on Friday and we’ll be doing two girl calls together! I’m going to send an email out tonight about it to just remind everyone.

Tomorrow during the day I’ll be running around like a chicken trying to get stuff ready for the dinner party on Saturday. We’re going to bake a bunch of cookies and other stuff to give to each guest as a “gift” when they get here, so I need to buy all the ingredients for that stuff and mix up the doughs tomorrow so we can bake the cookies off on Friday. My mom and sister will help, of course, but neither of them have ever been that great in the kitchen…especially when it comes to baking…so most of the burden will be on ME!

It’s ok though, it will be satisfying to give the plates of stuff to everyone when they get here. Do you have a favorite cookie? If so, leave a comment and let me know, ok? I can always use new ideas! What I usually do every year (I give cookies to lots of friends and service people every year) are the following:

chocolate chip
chocolate crinkle
snickerdoodle
peanut butter
the kind with the hershey kiss in the middle
sugar cookies….but they’re half peppermint flavored and half chocolate and they’re rolled together
oatmeal butterscotch
chocolate oatmeal

I also make rice crispy treats, fudge and pretzels that have white chocolate, caramel and toffee on them.

Leave me your ideas please!!!!!!!!!!

It happened again…and Erin’s coming! WOOHOO!

September 5th, 2006

I was so busy last night, I didn’t get a chance to update my blog. I need to stay home one of these days and update it during the day! lol I went out to lunch and did some shopping with my cousin today. It was fun! We didn’t get anything too exciting, just a trip to Costco for some food and stuff. I got a couple of new books since the ones I have just don’t seem to be doing it for me lately.

I know I haven’t done shout outs for over a week and I’m really sorry. I will not be doing the ones I missed, but I will make some quick notes about a few calls I remember right off the top of my head…

I just now let a guy cum that I had denied for over 2 wks. That was AWESOME! It was definitely a rush to deny him so many times.

My Aussie hottie has called and worked me over and of course DJ keeps rockin’ my world. Ubu *kisssssssssssssss*

But the shout out of all shout outs has to go “OverSexNaughtyBoy.” Not only for the amazing feedback he leaves ME or because he somehow gets me to fuck myself so hard I can’t even remember my own name, but because he’s funny and smart and SO fun to talk to and only a few other people in this world can make me laugh that hard. So thanks. I don’t think you’re over sexed at all. In fact, you might be just right.

Btw, um…this is kinda weird to say so I’m just gonna come out and say it. The other day I was masturbating with my new vibrating bullet toy and I was squirting and I think I shorted out the large bullet, which is my favorite one. It doesn’t really work anymore. I have to bend the cord a certain way to get it to go on. *pout*

So if someone wants to buy me a new “large accessory egg”, that would be fucking AWESOME. And OMG if someone wants to buy me the adaptor so I can put one in my ass and one on my clit, I would love them FOREVER. Click HERE to see my sex toy wish list! The things I’m talking about are the top 2 on the list.

I’m signed in right now and I’m sure the phone’s about to ring, so I’ll wrap this up by saying:

ERIN’S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Friday night. You know how she is though, I never know when she’ll actually show up. Probably around 10 or so. I’m gonna send out an email and let everyone know tonight since we seem to get more calls when I do that. Remember that to talk to us together is $2.50/min. and tips are ALWAYS welcome! Especially since we’re trying to save for a trip to Europe!

Hello everyone!

August 28th, 2006

Whew, I have so much to post, I’d better get right into it! My apparent popularity has continued; each night I’ve been on the phone pretty much non stop until I fall into bed exhausted. It’s so much fun, I hope it never stops! I do apologize to those of you who aren’t able to get a hold of me when I’m online and who are missing me other times of day. If I’m on a call and you want to talk, definitely use the “arrange a call” feature so you won’t get left out!

Saturday night I played a very evil trick on a friend. This guy is my male roommate’s best friend and he’s in the Army, currently stationed in Germany. His shoulder got messed up so he’s going to be discharged soon and doesn’t have active duty…so he’s bored over there. He’s on myspace a lot and he posted a bulletin on there titled “what if we had sex.” It was a 22 question survey that is supposed to allow you to reveal your desire to have sex with the person who posted it. But I’m just friends with this guy! We’ve hung out when he comes over to play poker or when we have parties, but he’s goofy and not really my type and we’ve never even flirted.

So what do I do? I respond in the most explicit, dirty way I can think of just to see how he’ll react. Here’s what I posted back to him.

1. Would you be in control?
We’d take turns, giving and taking control until we lost track of whose turn it was and just gave in to the white hot heat.

2. Would you pull my hair?
Babe, you don’t have enough hair to pull, but if you did, I wouldn’t. I hope you’d pull mine though….pull it hard while you fuck me from behind and spank my ass until it’s all pink and warm.

3. Would you whisper in my ear?
I’d whisper softly all the naughty things I wanted to do to you while I ran my hands over every inch of you that I could reach. Between words, my hot, wet tongue would trace the very outer edge of your ear and my teeth would gently nip at your earlobe.

4. Would you talk dirty to me?
Are you kidding? That’s what I was born to do…I promise I’d talk more than any other woman you’ve been with and you’d be begging me for every sweet, sultry sound that escaped my lips.

5. Would you kiss me with a little tongue or a lot of tongue?
I’d slowly outline your lips with the very tip of my tongue, then slide it into your mouth…waiting for you to reach out with yours only to withdraw and leave you wanting more.

6. Would you say my name?
Say it? I’d whisper, moan, utter, gasp and finally scream it as I came all over your face. Hopefully.

7. Would you go down on me?
“Go down on” you doesn’t even begin to describe what I’d do when I’d use my mouth, tongue and lips on your cock. But yes, I’d go down on you. Ever been truly deep throated?

8. Would you let me give you a hickie?
Absolutely. I love to see reminders of what happened the next day.

9. How many rounds would we go?
That really depends on a lot of factors. Whatever your record is, we’d beat it.

10. What would you wanna do afterwards?
After we regain our breath and our senses, I’d kiss you one last time and fall asleep.

11. Would you take off all ur clothes then take mine off slowly?
No. I like the guy to be naked first. I’d love to drag your clothes off one article at a time and then kneel in front of you in a sexy satin nightie.

12. Would you lick and bite me all over?
Not really, but enough places for you to feel like I did. Have you ever felt a soft, warm tongue on the back of your knee or sliding across your wrist?

13. Would you like 2 play or get straight to the point?
What kind of question is this? Play, of course. If you’re not panting and begging at the end of the first hour, then you don’t get more.

14. Would you want me to take my time?
Of course.

15. Would u fall asleep when we were done?
If we did it right, I would.

16. Would u want me to go fast or slow?
Fuck me hard and fast and then leave me begging for it while you slide in and out slowly and drive me insane.

17. Where would u wanna “do it” at?
A bed.

18 Would u be loud or quiet?
Loud. If I’m quiet, you’re doing it wrong.

19. Would you mind if I liked you?
I would hope you liked me if we were fucking. I’ve never had sex with someone who didn’t like me.

20. Would you do it 2day?
Not with you in Germany, I wouldn’t.

21. Would you do it 2morrow?
Let me think about it….

22. Are you going to re-post these so I can answer them for you?

Probably not. Almost all of my “friends” are girls and I don’t want to see their answers.
I’m already laughing by the time I send it and he writes back almost immediately, saying “hey thats not funny im here you play with me like that lol your crazy you should be a writer god knows you had me on the edge of my seat this is probably the only non visual thing i could jerk off to seriously i got pretty horny . Anyway your mean tell crista i wish she would do those things to me.”

Ok, so he’s not one for punctuation and spelling. lol Crista is a mutual friend of ours that he likes, so obviously he knows I’m joking, right? Well, I write back to him, “Who said I’m playing?”

Oooh, that one got him! I’m dying of laughter over here when I see his response. “are you really down” HAHAHA I leave him to think about it for a few minutes because during most of this, I’m on a call. And yes, the guy knows I’m writing to this dude on myspace while we’re talking! About half an hour later, he writes, “you were fuckin with me i believed you your sex is still good on paper though”

Ooh, that sounded like a challenge and you know how much I like a challenge! So I sent back, “Don’t you wish you knew if I was fuckin’ with ya or not? Good on paper? Babe, you have no idea. I could do things to you that you’d still think about when you were so old you couldn’t even remember your own name.” He responds, “well thats good to know the next time im in cali and at your house i’ll be watching you lol i don’t beleive you your gonna have to do something more convincing”

Of course, I told my cousin, my mom (she knows him), Crista, Erin and anyone else who would listen. MAN that was funny as hell! Am I evil or what? I think my halo disappeared there for a minute and I had cute tiny little horns.

Yesterday we went hiking for the first time without any boys!! It was so awesome. That was really the first time I’ve deliberately gone hiking and finished it saying, “Damn, I’ll definitely be doing that one again!” It was just a tad under 3 miles and the trail was mild, no switchbacks or anything. We ate lunch halfway there and I took 140 pictures so we stopped a lot for that. It took us about 3 hours total. SO AWESOME! I used my new backpack and I couldn’t have been more happy with it. I put Crystal Light lemonade in there and we shared the “lemony goodness” all the way up and down the trail. It rocked!

The funniest thing happened too. In the middle of the trail about 1/4 of the way through, there was this tiny little snake laying there. He might have been 4 inches long, max. My cousin was walking past him and he STRUCK at her shoe!!! I mean, his mouth couldn’t have been more than 1/8 of an inch across and he was striking at her! She walked by and “strike strike strike” and then he turned his attentions to me as I came closer and was striking at me the whole way past him! My cousin was like, “Let’s get the hell outta here…where there are baby snakes, there are mama snakes!”

I’m really starting to enjoy taking pictures. I always have, since I was a little kid, but lately I’m starting to wonder if I couldn’t do something with it professionally. I know, I’m one of a million amateurs who dreams of going pro…same as with any art, right? Writing, painting, photography, singing, song writing, piano playing, etc. What are the odds that someone can take something they love to do and make a career out of it? Probably pretty low, but I’m going to start pursuing it. I have that class that’s starting next month and I was checking out a bunch of photo sites last night. I found some where you can sell your pictures as stock photography that looked interesting. Some of the pictures were AMAZING and some weren’t any better than mine.

My problem is that I know absolutely nothing about digitally correcting color, noise and light balance with something like Photoshop. Just looking at that stuff makes my brain hurt and I don’t really have any desire to learn it. I wonder if I could just hook up with someone who does it and pay them a small fee per photo to correct the pictures. Then if there were some I could actually sell because they were corrected well, I’d make some money. Even if at the beginning, I only made enough to buy new equipment, it would be worth it.

On one of the sites, I found a guy who’s been to a lot of the places I have. He takes some amazing pictures. Man, it was awesome. There was one shot though at a lake I’ve been to where I have almost the same exact angle, but I liked my picture better. So did one of my callers, who happens to have one of my pictures on his desk top. Anyway, I hope that this isn’t a hobby that I just “get over” like I seem to do to so many others. I’m hoping that that’s not the case though, since I’ve loved taking pictures for so many years.

I think I’ve had two of the top 5 most intense calls I’ve ever had this past weekend. The first was with DJ on Saturday night. He just wanted to listen to me masturbate and wanted me to squirt for him. Ok, no problem. He always makes me horny, but all of the sudden, it was like I was possessed! lol I think I squirted for a more prolonged period of time than I ever have before. I soaked through the towels I’d laid down and basically just lost my mind during the call. It was absolutely incredible.

The second one was last night. It was already kinda late, but I wasn’t super sleepy, so I was still signed on while I surfed through the photography sites. “OverSexedNaughtyBoy” called (I’m sure some of you have seen him commenting on my blog lately) and we started out normally, just talking and joking. I think DJ is the only other caller I laugh this much with. I’ll never be able to drink a raspberry smoothie again!

I’d already cum right before he called so I figured I needed to bust out the big guns and I got out my glass dildo. I don’t even know how much time passed or how many times I came, but holy SHIT. I don’t think I’ve ever fucked myself that hard for that long at one time. It was absolutely amazing. Oddly enough, it took him awhile to cum, but it was definitely worth every second. He said I sounded incredible and I assured him that no matter how awesome it sounded, it felt 10 times better.

My cousin decided not to go in to work today because her man is gonna be back from his camping trip, so I have no baby duty today. I’ll probably end up signing on a bit early cause it’s looking like a record month and you know how competitive I am! lol I want to do everything I can to make sure these last 4 days are solid.

Wow, this might be the longest blog entry I’ve ever made! Crazy! I hope you all had GREAT weekends and I’ll talk to you soon!


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