Skip this post if you don’t want to hear me complaining!! lol

I had a slow day yesterday. I was signed in ALL DAY LONG and pretty much got no calls. On top of that, we’d had a little incident with our hammock on Sunday that resulted in me losing part of my right front tooth. Luckily (if you can say that), I only had to get a small filling to repair it, but still…$200 in dental bills that I didn’t expect and can’t really afford right now.

So I’m sitting at home, hanging out, waiting for my phone to ring and I get a call finally. Here’s how it went:

Me: “Hey there! How are you today?”

Him: “Great. I’m glad we finally got to talk, I’ve been looking forward to it.”

Me (thinking maybe I’d been on his favorites for a long time or something): “Oh really? That’s cool! How long have you been waiting to talk to me?”

Him: “Oh a couple of hours.”

Me: “Ah, ok…well I’m glad you got me then! What are you in the mood for today?”

Him: “I want to choke you with my cock.”

Me (laughing a little bit as I talk): “Well, that’s kinda mean!”

Him: CLICK

Now, I know this “choking a girl with my cock” thing is all the rage these days, but I don’t care. I don’t like choking, period. Do you? I certainly don’t like the concept of someone that I supposedly like enough to want to suck their dick choking me with it on purpose.

I wonder how the choking thing would go over if it were GUYS who were choking on something? Even so, I can’t IMAGINE actually WANTING to choke a guy with my pussy. I don’t understand how looking down and watching someone struggle to hold back from PUKING is a turn on.
If he’d stuck around another few seconds, I would have said something like, “No need for choking, hon. I’ll suck it great without any need for violence,” or something like that. But he hung up.

FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Calls like this really make me hate my job.

So then a little bit later, a guy instant messages me. He asks if I do or watch cam. I say no, I don’t do cam but I do sometimes watch it. He says, “Ok, thanks.” and appears to be done with the conversation.

When I try to clarify whether he’s done talking to me because I don’t DO cam (which is lame as hell since I don’t reference doing cam at all on my website anywhere NOR do I have even ONE cam listing on Niteflirt), he says that it’s because I don’t watch cam all the time.

Um, ok. He doesn’t ask me which circumstances influence whether I will or won’t watch someone on their cam. He doesn’t ask me if I’ll watch HIM on cam. He’s just done talking. So either he’s incredibly stupid because in his mind, if I don’t watch cam ALL THE TIME, I’m not going to watch him and therefore he’s not interested or he’s just incredibly RUDE. Either way, once again, my time is wasted and I’m none the richer for it.

I do relatively few vanilla calls these days and as each day passes, I understand more and more why a lot of women who do phone sex choose to do domination calls only. Then at least if someone says something fucking retarded like they want to choke you with their dick, you can tell them exactly what you think about it.

Maybe after 5 yrs. of being nice, it’s time for me to retire the niceness and bring out the bitchy side of my personality. Maybe then I’d get a little satisfaction out of fucking with the “losers” and assholes that call because I’d get to vent my frustration directly to them instead of having to post about it on my blog.

It’s something to think about, at least!

I just realized today that I’ve done over 15,000 calls on Niteflirt. Can you believe that? It’s a mind boggling number, isn’t it?

I’ve talked to thousands of men about their fantasies. And of course there are those that I’ll never forget even when they stop calling. There are a lot of different reasons…some guys are really funny, some are super sweet, a few are very talented at doing calls and really turn me on….and then there are those that I remember for something very specific.

I have a caller who hadn’t called me for quite awhile, but nothing bad had happened between us. He just stopped calling. But I always remembered him because even though he was a super sweet guy, during our role plays, he would get really mean. I NEVER minded, I thought it was cute that he would apologize about it and seem ashamed.

Then one call he got a little bit out of control and threatened to murder me by throwing me out a window or something in the middle of a role play and I LOST it…I started laughing. It was hilarious. He kept calling me after that for awhile, but then eventually stopped.

I just released a new MP3 and the topic is teacher/student role play. That’s the same role play I always did with this caller…I had thought about sending him an email and inviting him to purchase it, but I’m always very insecure about my recordings so I didn’t.

Then I saw this morning that he’d bought it!! I got all freaked out and started to email him and while I was typing it up, he called me.

I was a bit nervous, but it turns out that he loved the recording, had forgotten how much he loved talking to me and thought that maybe he’d stopped calling because he’d been embarrassed about the “window” incident. Of course I told him that there was NO reason to be embarrassed about it! It’s calls like that that make my job worth doing!

We had a great call and I’m really glad to have him back…so welcome back!

And if you want to hear the recording that inspired his return, just click HERE! It’s 10 minutes long and in MP3 format. Listen to it as many times as you want for only $30!

Special shout out to hqsabre, who called me yesterday and had me watch some porn with him again. It was awhile back, but we’d watched this one before where the music was so hilariously hick country that I recorded it on my computer and posted it here on this blog to make fun of it. To date, that was the funniest thing I’d ever seen in a porno. Until yesterday.

We started watching this one movie that was a combo teacher/student role play and cuckold fantasy. The girl needed to pass the class, her boyfriend was waiting outside and the professor had a huge black dick. Of course, he told her he’d pass her if she fucked him.

Right as she was about to climb onto that huge dick for a ride, her boyfriend came in to see what was taking so long. The second he appears, she launches into a more cuckold type fantasy and starts humiliating him.

But here’s the funny part…we skipped ahead so I’m not positive exactly how this line of conversation came about, but the black dude says to the boyfriend, “You like hip hop music? Why don’t you rap while I’m fucking your girl?”

And then the chick starts encouraging him to “bust some rhymes” and the dude’s like “hippity hop” over and over again. The girl says “what the hell? hippity hop is all you can come up with?” and SHE starts free styling!

I was laughing so hard, I swear I almost passed out. It’s like they put out these ridiculous pornos just cause they can!

SO FUNNY!

Friday night, me and a bunch of our friends played poker here at the house. We play frequently and for money, but what usually ends up happening is that the girls get tired of playing and make stupid bets after 4 or 5 hours cause we just don’t care anymore.

So we came up with a way to MAKE the girls care about the game. We said that whoever lost had to put a picture of themselves making a “LOSER” sign on their forehead up on their Facebook profile for an entire day.

You’d better bet that the final 3 was ALL GIRLS, baby! I played to the death, but still came in second. The next day, we all put our pictures up and it was so funny.

So next time, we’re gonna play either for money or for something humiliating…that way everyone will have their ultimate motivation for winning. Good plan, right?

Hope you all are having a good week. I’m gonna be around a lot this week, hope you give me a call and have some fun!

HA HA! Ok, that might be the weirdest blog title I’ve ever had, but those are two of the topics that came up on calls yesterday.

I don’t even know how the first one came up. We were talking and all of the sudden, we got onto the subject of rape somehow (not as a fantasy, we weren’t against TOS here) and I said that I thought if I ever had someone trying to force themselves on me, I would bite their cock off. I figure, even if I were scared they’d hurt me, they might be a bit too distracted by the fact that their dick just got bitten off to really run after me or shoot me.

Not that I know how often rapists ask for blow jobs beforehand…I guess some of them are probably too smart for that, right? ANYWAY…good lord, the weird shit I talk about.

Then I had a call later and seconds after the call started, I noticed that my new puppy had tossed his dog biscuits onto my bed (aka puked). We got on a roll and were laughing about it for a few minutes before we finally got down to business. It was kinda funny to go from laughing about dog vomit to a fantasy where the guy wanted to jerk off, suck and then get fucked by three guys (yes, in succession) before getting fucked by my huge strap-on, but hey…it was fun!

So yeah, yesterday was a great day for calls. Today has been a ghost town! Where are y’all? Come play with me!

I can’t complain too much because lately calls have been pretty damn good but what the hell? Normally I get all 5 star feedback and for some reason in the past week or so, I’ve gotten hit hard with 1 stars. It’s not that I think I sucked or anything either, even though everyone has bad days.

I already posted about the one dude and then last night I got a guy who was trying to act like he was a girl and he just said he wanted me to moan. Well, um, I politely suggested that maybe “she” might want to try calling some recordings. She was new to Niteflirt and I thought maybe she didn’t know that they existed. Instead of just taking my advice or understanding that I wasn’t really comfortable just moaning for no reason, she got PISSED and left me crazy one star feedback.

Some people really need therapy.

So I sent out some emails with free minutes, hoping that some of you who actually LIKE me will call and help push those bad feedbacks off the front page of my listings. I also asked Niteflirt to refund the money and remove two of them, but who knows how long that will take them.

That’s enough about that. Things have been so great lately that I took half a day off yesterday and did a little shopping! Yep, spoiled myself with some new shoes, new make up and new pajamas. I bought a new bottle of my favorite perfume too, which I guess is being discontinued! WAH!

I have to spend some serious time in my garden today, weeding it. It’s insane how fast weeds grow, really. What the hell? I’ve had a garden every year for a few years now, but this is the first year that I’ve really gone for it and just planted a lot of stuff. It’s my first time growing quite a few of the things that I have going, but it’s so exciting to see the stuff take off!

Here’s a list of what I have, in case you were dying to know (hah)

broccoli (the little heads of it are so f’ing adorable right now!)

zucchini

golden zucchini

yellow squash

cucumbers

lemon cucumbers

snap peas

bush beans

walla walla sweet onions

eggplant

pumpkins

bell peppers (yellow and green)

carrots

corn

spinach

lettuce

strawberries

tomatoes

Whew, that’s quite a bit, huh? I ate some lettuce last night on my veggie burger, officially my first harvest of the year. I’ve got some golden zucchini that are going to be ready in about a week and the peas are going nuts! Everything is, really. It grows so fast, it’s amazing.

We bought a new gazebo for the back yard last year, a round one. So we put the old square one into the garden this year to hang buckets of tomatoes from and let the peas and beans climb up the side. Cool idea, huh? It’s gonna look really pretty once everything’s all grown in.

I feel like such a nerd when I talk about my garden, but hey, whatever. I’ve gone through two rough break ups in the past year and if I want to lay low and garden, that’s my choice, right? haha

I should be around most of today. We might go grocery shopping, but that’s the extent of my plans. Otherwise, I’ll be around and just waiting for your call!

Vote for me on Phone Sex Central!

Buy fun stuff at my sex toy shop!

Leave me awesome feedback!