A dude just called me and told me that he wanted to fantasize about me cutting his balls off. All I can say is…

WHAT THE FUCK?

HA HA HA HA

So now that the wedding and the mortgage crisis are both over, my roomies and I have extra time on our hands for getting our house back under control. It was getting kinda bad there for awhile and then our house keeper of 6 yrs. completely disappeared! So then it got really bad…but we’re slowly pulling things back together and looking for a new house keeper.

I can honestly say that I’m done with the boy now. It’s been almost two weeks since we’ve seen each other and over a week since we’ve talked. He texted me yesterday, but there was really nothing left to say. I feel like I’ve been in rehab for the past week and I’m finally starting to feel better. I am, however, masturbating like a mad woman…at least 2-3 times a day for the past week. I need to get laid. Soon.

Yesterday my roomies and I started planting our garden. It’s late in the season, but we never really get frost here, so it doesn’t really matter (at least that’s what “Gardening for Dummies” told me). We hadn’t had a garden for the past couple of years so it took a few days in the past month to clear out all the weeds and grass. Ugh, what a job.

We planted all the actual plants we have yesterday and we’ll probably plant the seeds tomorrow. I wasn’t really paying attention when I grabbed plants and I accidentally got TWELVE zucchini plants. Anyone who knows anything about gardening knows that we’re about to have zucchini coming out of our ears. Not literally. If you want some, just let me know and I’ll ship you a box if you kick me a few bucks for shipping. How funny would that be? “Yeah, my own personal phone sex girl grew this zucchini for me.”

We planted (and I’m sure you’re dying to know, but I really have nothing else to talk about so deal with it) the aforementioned zucchini, about 8 tomato plants, cucumbers, acorn squash, pumpkins, red bell peppers, poblano peppers, corn, the strawberries we put in last month (which are doing quite well) and some herbs in a big planter.

We have seeds for rainbow carrots, radishes, lettuce, zucchini (which I will NOT be planting), bush beans, bush peas and snow peas. It’ll be our first time planting the bush varieties of beans and peas, but I really didn’t want to deal with climbing plants this year. I did see in the book that people sometimes plant pole beans around the base of corn and it naturally climbs up the stalks. Maybe I’ll try that.

Anyway, as a vegetarian, I really enjoy eating produce that I myself have grown. I did realize, as we were planting, that I just grabbed some vegetable food off the shelves and didn’t even look to see what was in it. How hilarious that I buy almost exclusively organic produce at the grocery stores, but I’m probably not growing organic myself? DUH. Oh well, I plan to keep this garden going almost year round from now on, so I’ve got plenty of time to research and figure out what I should be doing.

Ooh, have you guys been watching “Last Comic Standing”? So far I’m not super impressed, but there are a couple of guys that I really like. Seriously, you MUST check this dude out. Dan Cummins Play the clip that’s in the “Bio” section. The delivery isn’t as good in this clip as it was on the show last week, but my GOD that made me laugh.

I’m going to assume that he didn’t make it very far though, since his myspace page is showing tour dates for this month. Lame. Oh well, I’d go see him live. I saw Josh Blue and Chris Porter a couple of years ago when they were touring. I definitely think Chris Porter is funnier, but they were both great. I love this show.

Due to the show, my roomie and I were in a funny mood when we went out to dinner on Sat. Her husband was finishing his cigarette outside and we went into the restaurant before he did. The hostess looked at us and asked how many would be in our party. We said 3. Then she looks at us and says, “Do you need any kid menus?” I was like “Uh, yeah, the 7 yr. old is parking the car right now. She’ll be right in.” ha ha Then at the table, I said, “I should have told her that the baby forgot his binky and he’d be crawling in any second.” HA HA!

I told my mom that and she said, “Well, someone could have been coming with a kid and dropping him or her off.” Good lord, mom…way to ruin a joke. I just thought it was a funny airhead kinda moment on the part of the hostess.

I don’t really have any plans soon. I took the weekend off cause I had a kick ass day on Friday with calls and I had a lot of fun. I went to a casino and played black jack with my roomie and we did a little shopping on Sunday, then watched “The Princess Bride”. It never gets old. NEVER.

My point is that I’ll probably be taking calls all day/evening. As I said, I’m feeling domestic, so I might run to the grocery store and pick up stuff to make some kind of intricate meal for me and my roomies…but otherwise, I’ll be around. Talk to you soon!

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I admit it, I have a crush on a caller. I’m all twitterpated and stuff.

This guy hadn’t called me in almost 2 yrs., but the notes I’d written made me pretty much instantly remember him when he sent me an email last night asking if I was going to sign back on. I emailed him right back and said that I’d be back on in a few minutes (was on the phone with someone) and to PLEASE still be around and call me! lol

He was as hot (if not hotter) than I remembered. I was like a lil school girl, asking him all kinds of personal questions so I could get a better idea of whether we could get married and have babies and all that stuff. HAHA just kidding

He just sounds really cute, is super funny and quick and anyway, I’ll stop gushing now. I came so hard while we were talking, I thought I was gonna pass out. Even if he only calls once every 2 yrs., it will be well worth the wait.

In other news, I’ve just been sticking close to home for the past few days…trying (in vain, it seems) to make some money and catch up for all the time I took off for the wedding. I did take a few hours off day before yesterday to go to the movies with some friends. We saw “Kung Fu Panda“. HELLA FUNNY!

From reviews I’d seen, I expected it to be a little bit funnier and I wasn’t altogether satisfied with the ending, but I would still highly recommend it. I wasn’t even mad that I paid evening prices. “The Incredibles” still reigns as my favorite animated movie of the last 15 years though.

I also watched “30 Days of Night” on DVD. Those of you who know me, know that I LOVE anything that has vampires, witches, fairies, werewolves, etc. This was no exception. It was definitely different and again, can’t say that I’m totally happy with the ending, but I enjoyed it. If you like horror movies, you should check it out.

I will be around today/tonight and most of tomorrow as far as I know. Let’s fuck!

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I’ve been signed in for calls since around 10 and it’s almost 2 now…hadn’t had ONE CALL. So I pulled up my blog to make a little “hellooooo” post and my phone rang. It was only 6 minutes, but at least I know now that my phone isn’t broken! Holy cow. I pretty much never go that long without a call when I’m signed in.

I’m all lonely now *whimper*

Wow. That was by far one of the most stressful things I’ve ever gone through. It was amazing though.

I pretty much took four complete days off. Thursday I spent running around with my roomie buying last minute stuff. I went to the boy’s Thursday night after the rehearsal dinner (that’s over again for sure, now we’re not even going to be casual lovers anymore) so when I got home on Friday, we cleaned the house and finished getting everything packed up so we could load it up easily on Friday.

We also went en groupe to get our nails done Friday night after Erin arrived. That was fun! We all got pedicures and either manicures or full sets. My cousin turned into bridezilla for a minute and made me get french tips, which I hate, but lovingly did just for her. Then we all went out to dinner. We went to sleep pretty early that night, around 11.

Saturday is kind of a blur. We woke up early, all excited. All of us but Erin went to get our hair done at a nice salon. I’d gotten my colored on Thursday and I got it cut and styled on Saturday. It looked nice! One of the bridesmaids got her hair cut kinda short and it looked adorable. My cousin got the full on “bridal look” with her hair completely curled and halfway up so her tiara looked pretty.

It was nuts. A few things did go wrong…mainly, my dress BROKE. The zipper had always stuck a little bit, but we figured we’d just get a guy to yank on it the day of and it would go because it zipped when it wasn’t on me. Wrong. A guy yanked on it and it zipped for a second, but then the zipper completely split open. The dress was tight too, very tight….but luckily, one of the moms there had a needle and thread and she straight sewed me into the dress. It was out of control.

They messed up when we were walking in too. The groom’s sisters were singing and we were supposed to walk out after that, but the pastor and groom walked out WHILE they were singing. So everyone was looking for us, wondering where the hell we were…and we were waiting for the song we were supposed to hear. Then we were supposed to pause at the end of the aisle for pictures and the photographer didn’t take any when we were standing there! So I finally just started walking and then he snapped one. Duh.

Then the guy played the wrong f’ing song when my cousin was supposed to start walking. It was a little bit of a mess. Her dad was so nervous, he was visibly shaking like he had some kind of disease. Poor guy! I felt so bad for him.

The ceremony was nice though. We all had a few moments when the pastor kept saying “obey” to my cousin in the vows. I’m sure we were all wondering why the hell they didn’t take that out! The second or third time he said it, I almost lost it and started laughing. I’m glad I managed to hold it in.

The food was great, dancing was great and we set my camera up in the corner with a remote to act like a little photo booth. That was fun. Afterward, we all went back to our house to party. Drugs, alcohol and hilarity flowed and everyone had a great time.

I slept until 1 or so yesterday, fought with the boy because he didn’t come to the wedding and just generally chilled and recouped. Believe me, I needed it. I did end up taking more time off than I thought I would so now I need to stay logged in as much as I can for the next few days and try to catch up a little bit.

Talk to you soon!