The funniest joke I heard on “Last Comic Standing” was this one:

“Yeah, I’m single…sucks being single…having a penis and nowhere to put it.”

HAHAHA There were quite a few good ones. I’m looking forward to the show this season!

I was just talkng with Erin the other day about how interesting it is that SO many people read this journal. Guys who call frequently, guys who’ve called me but not in a loooong time, guys who never have but want to, girls who are checking me out for whatever reason, girls who hate me, girls who wanna be me, etc. lol

And what happens when I log on today? Someone says hi and says they noticed I haven’t updated my journal “lately”. lol Because I skipped one day? It’s a journal, not CRACK!

It’s all good though, I think it’s funny how many people read it. I never figured that my weird ramblings would be so entertaining to the masses of horny guys and girls who share the same corner of cyberspace with me.

I went to the Y today and worked out on the elliptical and drooled at the B-Ball players again some more. Damn, they’re fine. What’s a bit surprising is that I’m starting to be more and more attracted to the older guys….guys my age are hot too, but I’m really getting hot for guys I’d gauge to be in their 30’s and even 40’s.

None of them ever talk to me though, only younger guys. I guess it’s probably because most of them are married. *pout*

Dude, I just noticed a HUGE scratch on my lower arm where little drops of blood dried up. What’s crazy is that I was wearing a BRAND new white tshirt today and I didn’t get the blood on it! WOOHOO!

I remember feeling it hurt a little bit, but damn!

Ok, I just spent the last half hour on the phone with AOL. I had called a couple of months back to cancel my account since I only use it as a back up for my high speed connection and couldn’t see spending $23.90 a month for it when I didn’t even use it most months.

A nice lady convinced me to continue on with the service, saying she’d lower my price to $17.95 a month. Today I noticed that the price never went down.

So I called twice and couldn’t get to a person because somehow I couldn’t get the right answer to my “security question”…What’s my pet’s name?

Well, I said every damn pet I’ve ever had in my whole life and they were all wrong. GRRRR

So I went and tried to do the live billing help thing and I got a call in the middle of it. So they disconnected me, but gave me another number to call.

A lot of you know what an accent slut I am and a few of you also know about the torrid online love affair I had with a guy from Pakistan….so when I got a guy on the phone with AOL billing support that sounded like that guy from Pakistan, I pretty much melted.

I ended up getting $9.95/mo. unlimited and last month’s bill completely credited. It was funny though, I said, “Are you in the United States?” and he said, “No, I’m not.” So I asked, “Can I ask where you’re from? I’ll ask instead of guessing because I might offend you.” And he said, “Well, I’m actually in India.” And I said, “Damn, it’s good I didn’t guess then, because I would have guessed Pakistan!” and he said, “Hahaha Well, I don’t think AOL outsources reps from Pakistan.” which is just what I would have expected someone from India to say about someone from Pakistan.

But yeah, it was hot. I think he was a little bit surprised that I was flirting and stuff. He said, “Well, I hope my accent isn’t too thick; I’ve been trying to work on it!” And when I said, “No, not at all, I can understand you just fine.” he said, “Next time you call, you won’t be able to detect it!” And then he said some word completely weird and I corrected him and made him repeat it back to me lol

Anyway, now I’m eating pretzels and waiting for “So you think you can dance?” to come on. I’ll be taking calls all night!

Shout outs for 5/28/06:
Watching cocks squirt, making cocks squirt…we both like it. Call and talk about it ANY time.
Have to admire persistence. This guy has asked me for minutes every timehe’s called and every time I say no…but hey, you don’t get what you don’t ask for, right? lol
pink panty boy! omg, we did a call where you weren’t wearing panties!! It was weird, but of course I loved it!

Shout outs for 5/29/06:
Welcome back from your trip! I missed you while you were gone. Yes, I missed you being mean to me lol
I had my first two girl call with Taylor! WOOHOO! It was GREAT, totally smooth…wow, she’s really settled into it nicely! Damn, I might have some competition here on my hands, what have I done?
Had a GREAT new caller who I IM’d with beforehand….what a sweetie! Great call too, I came SO hard. Thanks!

Shout outs for 5/30/06:
Had a new lil cross dresser call me who’d been dressed up ALL day. And yes, a guy with tits and a cock who loves girls. PERFECT for me!
Yes, it’s on me to think up the next role play. I’m your kid’s teacher, that was a good one. We are running out of ideas!
Thank you thank you thank you so much to my Cali sweetie who sent me some money for my birthday!!
My Ubu called twice just to say hi because his internet is down. Poor baby.
Had a nice, fun short second call with a nice guy who just wanted to cum hard and fast! No problems there!

who realized that I skipped a day. HERE. I’m not dead. I’m still around, I just was brazen enough to skip an entire day of posting.

SO HERE!

HAHAHAHA I’ll post more later

So, I decided not to go to that BBQ. My roomie decided to go into her office for a bit today, so I watched the baby for awhile right after I woke up.

He slept the WHOLE time lol It was kinda funny.

Then when she got home, we at some strawberries dipped in chocolate. Damn, that’s good stuff.

So here I am, signed in early, as I’d said I would be!

I’m kinda burned out on sitting at the computer so much though…so I think I’ll be reading or hanging out on the couch most of the time tonight. If you want me and I’m not on IM, just give me a call!

I wanted to start out by ranting just a tiny bit before I get into other more mundane things. I had a guy IM me today, saying that he thought my site was great and that he’s glad that I’m “sweet” since he’s “mystified” at how some guys seem to be attracted to nasty, slutty girls. I said thanks, I’m glad he likes the site and agreed that yeah, it’s kinda weird that some guys like nasty girls.

Then the conversation stalled, so I asked if he was interested in calling. Come to find out, this guy was expectng me to bust out some kind of “sexy, sweet” role play with him online and try to convince him to call me.

He wanted me to say something like, “oh, I love sweetness too…. I love long, slow kisses…  I would love to be waiting here for you after a long day” Yeah, I copied that from his IM. lol Can any of you who chat with me imagine me saying that? How fake would that be?

Now please…a guy who’s never called me before, makes general statements and just expects me to run with them in a role play that entices him to dial? Give me a break.

Most girls don’t even chat AT ALL, much less specifically about sex. This dude hadn’t even mentioned any fantasy he had, just wanted me to lead off from super general statements…acting like I’m hanging on every word and just can’t WAIT for him to call me.

*rolling eyes* Please. Not this girl.

I brought this up not so I seem bitchy, that’s definitely not the point. The point is I AM REAL. I’m a REAL GIRL. And I think that in this industry, that’s my greatest asset.

Expecting me to come back at you with some fake ass stuff like that is totally missing the entire point of my site and what I do. Read my journal, read my feedback, look at my site, IM me a bit…but you definitely don’t need some fake ass role playing on Yahoo to tell you whether or not I’d be good at what you’re looking for.

Anyway, thanks for listening. END OF RANT  

I’m not sure if there’s some kind of imbalance in my body, but lately I’ve been craving lemon flavored things like CRAZY. Some of you may remember the rave I posted about the lemon flavored toothpaste that I’ve been using…but that’s not all.

I’ve been drinking about half a gallon of Crystal Light lemonade per day and I bought a lemon meringue pie today and devoured a huge slice of it. Lemons are my master!

Today was a good day. My roomie and I are really into this cooking thing lol So today I hung out with her a bit, then went to the store and got food for dinner. Her bf is out of town so it was just the two of us, so we invited a couple of friends over.

We made fried chicken (I helped, but didn’t eat it, of course…though I did let her fry some fake chicken nuggets for me lol), mashed potatoes and gravy, spinach with garlic, Texas toast, broccoli and corn.

Um, YUM! Then we had pie later while we watched “The Chronicles of Narnia”, which I’d already seen, but they hadn’t.

I didn’t go to the gym today and it’s not even 1 yet and I already feel sleepy. I swear, not working out just saps my energy! It’s NOT good. I couldn’t get my IPOD to work last time though so I wanted to try and figure out what’s going on with it before I go next time. Either way, I’ll definitely go tomorrow.

I have a BBQ to go to tomorrow, but I’m not positive I’m gonna go yet. It’s at a guy’s house who lives here in our neighborhood and I think he has a crush on me, but I’m really not into him. I don’t know if it would be giving him false hope if I showed up. We’ll see.

If I end up NOT going, I’ll probably be taking calls early tomorrow, so watch for me if you used to call me during the day and haven’t been able to for awhile!!

Shout outs for 5/26/06:
I’ll have to ask what your screen name means some day…are you dreaming OF an island or dreaming while on one? Anyway, our first few calls were kinda weird, but these recent ones have been HOT!
panty boy! *kisses* you’re such a good lil slut
Cuckolding…can we really even call it that…has NEVER been more appealing. I really did get myself off again after our call ended…and went to sleep with a dripping wet pussy.

Shout outs for 5/27/06:
panty boy! 156 calls? holy shit! lol you’re an insatiable cock sucking whore!
Had a new caller wanna choke me with his cock…and he succeeded, for a couple of minutes anyway! lol
My awesome, sexy, smart, dare devil, sweet, funny, caring dj called…just to keep me company when I was bored! How fucking sweet is that? *kisses all over*