Ok, I’m leaving in just a few minutes, but wanted to post really quick and wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’ll be back on Sunday with Erin and don’t forget that we’ll be doing 2 girl calls starting at around 6 pm (maybe even earlier).Â

Talk to you soon!

I spent almost all day today trying to get ready for my trip. I had to wash clothes, pack them, track down snow gear, plan out meals, talk to Erin 1,000 times and basically just try to make sure that we’re ready to go! Another one of her friends (a guy) is going to go with us and I have to pick him up before I meet with Erin in Washington state.Â

I’m SO excited! We found out that renting snowmobiles is $100 though, so I don’t think we’ll be doing that. Kinda depressing. I’ve never ridden one and was really looking forward to it. At least we’ll be able to play in the snow though and I’m bringing a sled so hopefully that will work out too! Though if you feel like sending me a tip, I could use it for renting a snowmobile!!!!!!

I don’t think I mentioned this yet, but Erin’s going to come back to Van with me on Sunday and we’re going to do calls that night. We should be back around 6 pm or so and start taking calls as soon as we get back. We’ll probably be on until we collapse in exhaustion again, as always!

I know that my journal post yesterday was a little dramatic, but I never imagined the reaction I’d get. My favorite caller told me it’s going to be his New Year’s resolution to stop calling me, I had lots of guys IM and email me who I hadn’t heard from in a LONG time, I had guys promise me that they would never disappear like that on me (really did make me feel better) and overall, I just got a very positive reaction.

I do feel better overall, it’s just something I’m going to have to learn how to deal with. Thank you ALL for your support. *kisses*

I’ll miss you all while I’m gone! Wish me TONS of fun!

Shout outs for 12-28: I got a great, early morning call from my tickle guy! My feet will never be the same! My sexy Seattle cock sucker called and fucked ME. What a change of pace! Awesome! I had missed my hot pool hall/bar owner guy so much lately! I’m so glad you called again. That call was just as hot as all the others. panty boy called twice! *kiss* what a pretty little WHORE for me! lol I got some Ubu lovin’ to tide me over through the weekend!

There are a few of them, I’m sure you all realize. I need to be careful that nut jobs don’t track me down and stalk me. I need to watch that I don’t become jaded about men in general when I get the 5th call in a row from a guy who tells me that his girlfriend has no idea he wants to get fucked in the ass by a huge cock (a cock that’s attached to a GUY). Or the 10th call from a guy who’s wearing his girlfriend’s panties, who again has no idea. lolÂ

I have to be careful that I don’t become complacent about my income and let it decline slowly because I’m not interacting enough with my callers. I have to be careful that I’m not BUGGING them with random emails about things and pissing them off. I have to watch who and when I tell what I do, because I’ll never really know what their reaction is going to be.

But when I came back to doing this in June, I wasn’t prepared for the most recent occupational hazard I’ve come across….the state of my emotional health. And let me clarify.

I’ve had quite a few good callers (and when I say “good”, I’m not only referring to amount of time or money spent on me, but whether I enjoy the calls), come up with girlfriends lately and stop calling. I weathered it ok when it was just one here or there…but it seems like lately if I start to like doing calls with a guy, he’ll inevitably get a girlfriend within a few weeks. So if you’re reading this and you’re single, feel free to call me and test my theory!

My fave caller of all time (sorry to offend any of you, but it’s true) just disappeared over a month ago. Stopped calling, stopping IM’ing. I had seen him online a couple of times and he hadn’t answered me when I tried to message him so I started thinking that he was mad at me for some reason. Yesterday he finally answered. He told me that his computer had been down so that’s why he hadn’t really been online and then told me that YEP, he has a girlfriend now.

My heart HURT. Yes, I know how ridiculous I’m being. Not like I’d made plans to go see him, not like I was in love with him….I really don’t know how to explain it. I AM happy for him. He’s a great guy and the girl he’s with is very lucky to have him. I’m just jealous!

And it’s not just him. I’ve had quite a few other guys just DISAPPEAR on me who were not only frequent callers but who had chatted with me VERY regularly, even daily. They’re just GONE.

I know some people (yes, I’m aware that other PSO’s read my journal)Â are probably reading this and saying, “So what? They don’t owe you anything!” I KNOW that. I can say to myself, “Who cares? Let them go on with their lives, they don’t owe me an explanation or even a goodbye.” But I don’t FEEL that.

So what’s my point? I have 2 of them. Most of the guys who leave and eventually come back and tell me that they’ve got a girlfriend and that’s why they’re not talking to me anymore say that they’ve continued to read my journal. So if you’re one of the guys who has totally dropped out of my life, but you’re still reading my journal, this is what I have to say to you. “I was a friend to you when you needed one. I think our relationship went beyond that of caller/PSO and I was hurt when you didn’t say goodbye. I feel like you didn’t really think of me as a person when you were able to just cut me off like that. Please at least let me know how you are and say goodbye if you don’t want to talk to me anymore.”

And secondly, if you are a current caller and think that you might be inclined to just disappear if you get a girlfriend, remember what I’ve said please and give me the respect of telling me what’s up. I can’t chat with you for 5 hours a day for 4 months and then not wonder what happened when you just stop coming online. I’m a real person.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I’m sure I’ll feel completely fine soon. I hope you don’t all think I’m psycho! lol

Last night was slower than other recent nights, I think everyone is starting to go back to work. I’ll be on all night tonight, hope to talk to you soon!

Shout outs for 12-26 and 12-27: Had an hour long chit chat with my ex Navy guy. I’m not scared of your big cock….haha A great call with a guy who’s called a few times before who said “OMG, EVEN MORE AWESOME THAN USUAL!!!” Wow, there must have been something in my water that night! lol Sweetie whose name starts with “L”…our 6th call and it’s still hot! It still shocks me when you get hard core on me though after sounding so sweet during the “hello” heheh panty boy called again…getting sluttier every call and that was # 115! Oh wow, an AMAZING call with a guy from Boston who’d called me before a couple of times. He turned me on so bad I never wanted the call to end and he ended up having TWO orgasms. This is what he said in his feedback, how fucking cool! “Nikki is the first woman to ever get me to cum twice in one call” My sweetie that I share a cabin with finally called again. I had missed you a lot. You make me laugh so hard, I absolutely love it. Lawyer from Manhattan…how do our calls end up with such interesting and deep conversation? You pull my little pony tails and make me your princess and then we discuss why Christmas is on the 25th? I hope you have a WONDERFUL New Years, complete with girl kissing at midnight. A super hot new caller from San Diego who is a SURGEON has called me a few times in the past couple of days. Hot voice, great conversation, great sex! What more could I need? My new sissy pink panty boy called again too. Poor guy, his pee pee is so small, I’m surprised he can even find it!

Today I spent pretty much the whole day just taking calls. I hadn’t been signed on during the day in so long, I figured it was time to catch up with some of the regulars that call during the day.Â

I watched two movies, Miss Congeniality 2 (which I hated) and Crash (which I liked). I talked to Erin about our trip some more and it turns out that she thinks it would be a good idea if she came back up here with me from the lodge on Sunday and hung out for a day. We’ll DEFINITELY be doing some calls, so get all excited if you must!

It’s now been a week and a half that I’ve been so busy on the phones when I’ve been signed in that I barely have time to breathe between calls. At least 2 times a night, I get off a call only to have had an appt. made and another one come right through. Believe me, I’m not complaining and I hope that it stays like this for MONTHS to come!

 I’m about to pass out so I’ll do shout outs and then I’m collapsing into bed. Talk to you tomorrow!

I have a lot of guys ask where their shout outs are, so I’m gonna start putting the date that I’m shouting out for in the journal…that way you’ll know! SO many guys LOVE theirs…I don’t want you thinking that I forgot ya! Remember, the most common reason for lack of shout out is lack of feedback.

Shout outs for 12-25: Loser called again and gave me a nice chunk of change! YAY for losers! My shy one called after having given me $100 for Christmas. I’d missed you so much, hon. I’m glad we got to talk again. I’ll let you know how I spend it! I got some Christmas lovin’ from my Ubu! I love your lovin’ anytime, but on Christmas it was especially nice. Got a sweet call from a guy who hadn’t called me in about a month…a “simple blowjob” can be a fabulous thing, don’t ever forget it! Had another hot, nasty intense call from the guy who likes to fuck all my holes. Glad I could be of service! *wink*

PHEW! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HO HO HO!!!!!!!!!Â

I had an absolutely fabulous day! I raked in the presents, the food, the cookies and now I need to go on a detox fast lol

For those of you who are curious, some of the things I received for Christmas from my family included a handheld Yahtzee game, a silver angel necklace, The Harry Potter version of “Scene It”, chocolates, a make-up bag set, 1 month of kick boxing classes (my mom actually called the studio where I take classes and pre-paid, how cool is THAT?), and some really pretty dish towels (mango and red, very cute), and a BUNCH of books. I got that book “The Historian” about vampires and 4 of that one series that I’m wanting to read.

I also got $100 yesterday from a caller and another Itunes gift certificate and I have other gifts en route from guys who didn’t get them in the mail fast enough to make it for Christmas. I still have a present from Erin to open too. Overall, it was a fabulous Christmas.

It’s been insane for calls again lately, seems like I sign on and immediately get call after call after call. AWESOME! I’ll be around this week fairly steadily, I’m not leaving for New Years with Erin until the 30th.

Shout outs: Got another great call from the guy who LOVES my voice. I can’t possibly complain about that. My awesome, sexy, funny, literate…um, what ele? finally called again. I love talking to you so much. Sorry we didn’t get to finish, you need to just slap me and say “Ok, woman, suck my dick now!” or else we’ll spend all night laughing. Why are guys from Boston so hot? Hmmm, I think I need to go there. Have to mention my newest panty boy sissy caller…how cute! I never knew such an amazing collection of sissy panties existed. My pink panty boy says, “I think that I’m definitely hooked for life!!!” and I can only say, “I hope so!” I tried desperately to get another nice big load of spooge…I’m such a good girl, begging for it like that.